Recently, Duncan and his family overcame on really big, personal hurdle having to do with Duncan’s health. At the age of 42 and seemingly at the peak physical condition Duncan was told that if he didn’t repair a genetically impaired valve on his heart he’d probably die within five years. That’s big, difficult, scary, mind-blowing news! To repair the valve would require open-heart surgery which came as more big and scary news. Duncan is the picture of perfect health; he’s a 5^th degree black-belt in taekwondo and an elite Spartan racer. He seems to have endless energy as a father of four, an entrepreneur and someone who is very hands on in a thriving business. Hearing of his heart condition surprised a lot of people, especially those on his Spartan race team who trail behind has he marches up the face of Camel’s Back with huge, thick chains hanging around his neck and down from his shoulders.

His goal going into surgery was to inspire others. Copied from his FB post: “Every day, I go through a morning ritual that involves affirmations. Part of my affirmations is that “I inspire people to be their best. I inspire people to reach their goals. I lead by example by accomplishing my goals…” That being said, please don’t say, “I am praying for you.” Instead, be inspired! Be inspired to make a difference in your life and the lives of others. That would mean the most to me. That would help me know that I have purpose!

I look forward to your comments, and hope that it’s one word. ‘Inspired!’”

I, for one, was inspired and knew he would be someone perfect to feature on my blog about embracing imperfection. Amid his crazy schedule, he took time to have coffee and share some of his philosophies and practices that help him stay focused and able to make his way through hard times and able to come out even stronger

OBSTACLES:

The message I gleaned from my interview is the vital importance of having obstacles real or created in our lives to make us stronger, healthier, better people. Overcoming small obstacles trains us to conquer the big ones, the ones that come from nowhere and try to turn our lives upside down. Duncan has built his life, business and reputation by setting goals for himself and over-coming obstacles in order to achieve them. Open-heart surgery was no different. When I asked how he prepared himself for facing what could potentially be a life-threatening surgery, I was surprised when he said he trained for it like he would the highest level championship, “a strong body would mean a better chance to recover.” In a Facebook article, he wrote “heart surgery is just merely another obstacle in my life.” That didn’t mean he wasn’t scared, it meant that he was doing whatever he could do to make sure he had the best odds on the operating table and in recovery. He is also a global thinker when it comes to life and has philosophies about life and death based on science and some Buddhism that helped him realize that even if the worst would happen, his family would move on. But a champion would never surrender, a champion trains and fights. Duncan also believes that we must place obstacles in front of kids, rather than removing them in order to train them for real life obstacles. A book he recommends for teaching kids how to have grit is How Children Succeed. As a martial arts instructor, his program is largely built on the act of setting goals for his students and helping them overcome obstacles.  He leads one of the largest Spartan teams through a literal maneuvering of obstacles every year and through several races nationwide from Sprint to BEAST!

GOALS:

How does one gain practice in overcoming obstacles? By setting goals, he says to “set a big ass goal for yourself and accomplish it…or fail.” Duncan remembers training hardest when he wanted a spot on the U.S. National Team for Taekwondo. The desire to reach that goal forced him to train and push himself beyond what he is naturally inclined to do. He said it was really exciting and totally worth the effort even though he didn’t make the team. I know that building a business from a small taekwondo studio to a huge multi-dimensional health and wellness facility, did not come easy, but started with a goal. “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” ~Lao Tzu. Duncan admits building BIM both literally, (all the obstacles built in his facility have been built by him) and figuratively has been the hardest thing he’s done in his entire life and also admits that they aren’t where they want to be yet. He and Rachel are spread thin as leaders and with debt still looming they continue to struggle, yet he still has a vision and continues to move forward toward the finish line.

SAVER:

Besides being naturally driven and perseverant, I think part of Duncan’s success comes from being conscientious of both his physical and emotional health. His morning smoothie contains, water, kale, banana, peanut butter, turmeric, black pepper, and organic protein powder. He also spends his morning in a ritual learned from the book The Miracle Morning; S.A.V.E.R.

S- Silence…spend the first 5 minutes of your day in silence or some form of meditation

A – Affirmations – Self-Talk

Here are some of Duncan’s affirmations:

“I am a great leader”

“I inspire people to be the best motioneers (his BIM employees) and instructors (his taekwondo instructors).

“I am a great father and listener; I am fun and helpful”

“I am a great companion and provide tokens of appreciation…”

V- Visualization – Duncan has pictures on his phone of his future goals, one of which is to take his family to Italy for 1-3 months.

E – Exercise – the book recommends 20 minutes of exercise or yoga each morning

R – Reading – one of Duncan’s favorite parts of the day is spent reading and note taking with a cup of coffee at the start of the day.

IMPRFECTIONS:

According to Duncan, his greatest imperfection is being judgmental. This is an imperfection not apparent to many and when asked about how he manages it, he replied that it’s because he’s aware of it and has to constantly remind himself to not pass judgment on what people say. He also says he holds grudges. When upset by something someone does, he has no expiration. Both of these self-proclaimed imperfections come with a good dose of self-awareness and balance from his wife Rachel. Duncan doesn’t view his valve impairment or asthma as imperfections, rather just the hand he’s been dealt in life.

HORIZON:

What are Duncan’s present goals? First…and this is a big one! …he’s auditioned to American Ninja WARRIOR!!! Anyone who knows Duncan believes he will be the NEXT American Ninja Warrior!!!My son, Luke, watched his audition video, knowing of his heart surgery said “It’s like Mr. Richardson wants to make something of his life!” As a mom, I appreciate that influence on him. Other goals are to turn Bodies in Motion into a “well-oiled machine”, pay off debt and open more in multiple locations.  And then personally, Duncan plans to take his family to Italy for 1-3 months, which I’m hoping he’ll need a family photographer to capture their time there.

THE SILVER LINING AND A WORD OF ADVICE:

The silver lining of having facing a life-threatening impairment and open-heart surgery and any hurdle in life, for that matter, Duncan says is that which doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. He says all obstacles ultimately make you stronger. His advice to others is to not wait until you are facing a big obstacle in life to learn how to conquer it, but rather set up challenges now, create obstacles by creating goals. One great goal full of obstacles is the Spartan race. Duncan has built a team and will lead and train ANYONE to complete a race. He sees how something like a Spartan Race mimics life in several different facets. It takes having a goal, training for that goal, preparing your body and mind to be tough, overcoming obstacles and relying on others. His best advice to those facing huge hurdles in life is to rally a team. In the Spartan race there is always someone there cheering you on, helping you over the wall and then when you see someone struggling you stop and help them. Never feel like you have to go it alone, rally a team.

If you are interested in setting a big ass goal and learning what you’re made of, I encourage you to check out Bodies in Motion’s Obstacle Fit Class. It’s part SpartanSGX and Running, it’s team building and games created to make exercise fun. You can also join Duncan’s Spartan Team for leadership and support as you climb that wall and reach your big ass goal.

Stay tuned, I expect to see our local imprfect WARRIOR!!! on the NEXT American Ninja Warrior!

Why? Why would anyone write a note like this to themselves? I can only guess that at the end of day yesterday, my final thought, my conclusion was: I am NOT beautiful. Maybe I have been feeling a bit too cocky lately…I needed to bring myself down a notch? I don’t know exactly why I felt compelled to write myself this note but whatever the reason, the answer to my hurt feelings question had been answered. My feelings were hurt because I battered myself with too much alcohol, processed sugar and a good healthy dose of self loathing. As I reflected on my sweet little note, I thought of the adage “hurt people hurt people” which I always looked at from the vantage point of how people interact with others, but today, even through a foggy mind I can clearly see that maybe in order to be kinder and gentler with others we should start by being a little bit kinder to ourselves.

Instead of my typical pattern of beating myself up over my mistakes I will attempt to learn from them, forgive myself and move on and maybe, if you are like me and tend to beat yourself up too and find your feelings are hurt for no apparent reason, here is some friendly advice for you…

1. Eat a healthy dinner before going out.

2. STOP at two

3. Throw that Halloween candy away! For pete’s sake it’s February!!!

4. Kindness starts with being kind to yourself.

Several years ago when I was just coming on scene in Boise Idaho as a photographer I discovered the art of another local photographer, Amanda Morgan, aka Ammophotog. Her work has a really cool vibe so I started following her on Facebook. I subsequently found myself included in a local photography group with her and together we displayed our work in the RAW Art Show where we finally met and became friends. Here we are acting silly on the “red carpet.” Since we don’t often find ourselves on the other side of the camera we took the opportunity to really work it! One…two…three…JUMP!

I remember the day a Facebook post from her feed prompted to me to message Amanda to find out more about the underlying message of sadness in her words. Perception is thought-provoking and from my perspective, Amanda came across as a totally cool, super confident, immensely talented, beautiful artist. She’s tall, gorgeous, hip, has striking red hair and just as reflected in her art, she exudes a really cool vibe. Her Facebook posts are funny and witty and once in a while she’ll bare just enough for someone like me to pick up on the fact that maybe there is more brooding behind the façade. So, I asked. Amanda then confided in me that since college she has struggled with depression. She exists between a state of total despair to just merely feeling anxiety and guilt. I was stunned as I would never have guessed but, more importantly, I was surprised she trusted me enough to confide in me. Admittedly, I don’t completely understand clinical depression but I do recognize that it’s something that can be all-consuming and very hard to come out from under and that many people who are depressed are reluctant to seek help.

For a better understanding of living with depression I encourage you to take 11 minutes out of your day to watch this TED talk by comedian Kevin Breel: Confessions of Depressed Comic. Much of what Kevin Breel describes in his video is echoed by Amanda when we finally sat down to talk.

Amanda first experienced depression at the age of 19, after leaving home for college. Knowing it’s normal to feel sad and lonely at first during this time of transition, she realized she was dealing with something more when she couldn’t seem to come out from that cloud of sadness. She felt sad all the time, lonely and lost, it became all consuming like being in a pit and she believed things would never change. In the darkest moments of depression, Amanda describes feeling immense hopelessness, like she’s at the bottom of the ocean, unable to breathe and in complete darkness. In less dark times, when she’s feeling better she has more of an apathetic look towards living. She described her feelings of apathy to me like this “it’s like if I cross the street and get hit by that bus it will be fine.” Her darkest moment was last spring when she was newly divorced, living in a new apartment with no furniture, and got the flu. All she had was a mattress and she decided to stop taking her medication. Her outlook became so bleak she had thoughts of suicide.

Powerful self portrait of Amanda in her wedding dress.

When asked about misperceptions about depression, Amanda confesses that the most exasperating is when people view depression as weakness. Many suggest that she just needs to be positive, change her attitude and count her blessings. She is also frustrated by the comparison of depression to physical diseases such as diabetes or cancer. She says it’s like comparing apples to oranges, “yes depression is an illness that requires medication, but it’s not the same.”

My personal belief is that we all have a cross to bear, something we all suffer for. I also believe that if we can’t come to terms with our suffering and find a way to tap into it to discover the reason for it or the silver lining behind it, then that suffering is in vain. This really is the main purpose of my blog “imprfect”. So when I asked Amanda what the silver lining was to her depression I was impressed when she was receptive to my question and gave me a thoughtful an insightful answer. The bright side of her darkness for her, is that through her depression she is able to truly connect with others who are in the dark but don’t want to acknowledge it. She can relate to them on a deep and personal level and help guide them towards finding light.

For those who, when everything is going right but still find they are consumed in sadness, Amanda advises the most important thing is to find someone to talk to, find a good counselor and don’t isolate yourself. “Depression” she says, “is not a character flaw, it’s okay to go on medication.” Finding the right dose and type of medication is key in treating depression, and it takes a long time to find the right fit. Amanda also advises not to pretend that everything is okay when it isn’t. She describes feeling like it’s a double edge sword, needing to lean on friends but also feeling like a burden. Additionally, Amanda enjoys the blog post Depression – Part Two from Hyperbole and a Half. She says it’s a hilarious parody of depression but at the same time pin-points it.

Amanda thinks Facebook can be detrimental, because what many don’t acknowledge or see are the ten selfies a person took to get the one that looks good enough to post. She has joined in with Operation Beautiful, an uplifting movement to end negative self-talk. As part of the project, Amanda leaves sticky notes on public mirrors with the message “you are beautiful.” She loves the act of giving an anonymous message any woman would want to receive and being sneaky about it. She particularly enjoys hearing a woman’s reaction to her note from behind the door of a bathroom stall. She says, no one can help but to smile when receiving that message.

Amanda, aka Ammophotog is an extremely talented photographer on many levels, from fine art photography to family and senior portraits. I tend to gravitate towards artists who bare a part of their soul in their work, which is why I was initially drawn to her. But where I think her art transforms and really speaks is through her artistic self portraits…not to be confused with selfies. They are honest, beautiful and fantastically raw.

“Dragging Along the Past”

From Ammo’s levitation series.

To see more of Amanda’s work, visit her website: http://www.ammophotog.com

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/theammophotog/?pnref=lhc

Finally, Amanda wants people to know that there is hope. She’s in a different place than she was just even a year ago. She has joy in her life and is thankful for her amazing family. She has wonderful and supportive friends and a boyfriend who is tremendously caring. She says that depression has its ups and down and she’s thankful to report she’s definitely up these days. She wants to express how thankful she is for the people in her life and the things happening in her life.