In my original “about me” page, I admitted to having botox injections. I didn’t just admit it, I claimed it as a 44-year-old’s best friend! I still hold that claim, however, a handful of people took issue with the fact that I inject my face with a neuro-toxin to rid myself of imperfect skin, while claiming to embrace imperfections which happens to be the whole purpose of this blog. Hmmm…I was called out! And rightfully so! I didn’t see it that way, however. Personally speaking I think botox, fillers, even plastic surgery is great, especially if it helps someone feel better about themselves. The reason I owned it, was because I think a lot of women are ashamed they need or want to resort to such measures. Needless to say it opened up a great dialogue between me, my sister Katherine, and my brother Mark, who happens to be very open in his opinions. It went like this…
Mark: Gheena (we call each other by weird names…it’s our “thing”) one more suggestion for your site. But only if you promise not to get mad!
Me: I would love it! Shoot!!!
Mark: Ok on your about me page. First of all, the theme of your ENTIRE BLOG is celebrating imperfections, finding the beauty in them and accepting ourselves, right? Then your “about me” page you talk about how you hide wrinkles with…BOTOX?!?!? You totally just discredited the whole blog. If you really celebrate imperfections, then you should definitely not be the person who admits to taking botox injections!!!
Me: I get that. But I think it’s important to be authentic. Most women my age get Botox, but won’t admit it.
Mark: I would take that out! And if you really want to live true to your blog, I’d stop taking the injections. In fact, THAT would make for a great blog post. How you decided to gracefully surrendered your youth to adulthood.
Exactly. BE AUTHENTIC!!!
People your age taking botox are not authentic. That’s the whole point
Botox is anti authentic
LK (Mark’s wife…and yes, this is still Mark’s rant…) know people who take botox and they all have one thing in common and I’ll tell you it’s definitely not “being authentic”
So anyway, that’s my feedback. Think about it!
Me: No, I don’t think there is anything wrong with doing things to help yourself feel good about the way you look. It’s the same as coloring your hair to hide the gray.
Mark: Exactly. But that’s not being authentic.
Me: Okay, I appreciate that. I am going to do a post about the fine line of beauty. How far is too far? That line is different for everyone. But I don’t think there is a right or wrong place for it.
Mark: I saw a lady at Whole Foods who obviously was in the middle of chemotherapy. She wasn’t wearing a wig. Bald headed and walking around with all of the stares, her head held up high. Made me feel proud of her. Imagine the guts.
Me: Yes, that definitely takes guts.
I have friends who have had plastic surgery. I would never tell them they are wrong for getting it or that they aren’t authentic.
Mark: Your blog is to celebrate the guts it takes to accept and appreciate yourself and all of your flaws. Am I right or am I wrong? The fact that you inject botox makes you seem kind of like a hypocrite as the author of this blog.
Me: The purpose of the blog is to show that despite what we look like or the outward appearance, everyone struggles with SOMETHING
Katherine: This is a good debate! Worth writing about!!
Mark: That’s a good point. But then, after you realize that, what’s the message? Celebrate it or hide under plastic skin?
Me: Celebrate! And fuck the perception of plastic surgery or Botox.
Mark: Boom! LK wants me to dye my gray hair and I’m like fuck that! I am proud of my aging!
Me: Okay, that’s the right thing for you. But do you judge LK for wanting to color her hair?
Mark: I loved an incredible youth and now my hairline is receding and I’m getting grey hair. Bring it on. No regrets. I have tales of adventure to speak of and grey hair doesn’t keep me from getting more epic adventures.
Me: I love Botox. There’s nothing wrong with getting Botox. My authenticity comes from being real about it and owning it.
Mark: I feel like people who alter themselves have incredibly low self esteem. I won’t judge LK but I’m showing her and telling her that she is not that person. That she is naturally beautiful.
Me: I do not love my sagging eye-brows and wrinkled forehead. There’s a little injection that will take care of that…BOOM! I feel good about myself. You are so judgmental!
Mark: I think botox is ridiculous and disgusting. It’s the epitome of 1st world western entitlement. It’s disgusting to me. I stand by my opinions. I could be less blunt though. Haha there’s my imperfection.
Me: Thank you very much for your opinion. Judgmental people are disgusting to me.
Katherine: Jean (Kat’s name for me…see a pattern here?) Copy this entire conversation! Boom! Blog Post.
Mark: Yes this would be a good blog post! It is a good debate. I can see both sides.
Katherine: Me too! This will start good conversation!
Me: No you can’t Kark! You just said people who get Botox are disgusting and insecure.
Katherine: haha! Karc is so gentle with his words!
Mark: True, I don’t understand why people make that their priority. But I understand that we all want to look good. But I guess I would just think a blog called imperfect would be more used as an advocacy for accepting and loving ourselves as we are. So I’m just confused. That’s all. I don’t think people who surgically alter themselves really love themselves.
Katherine: What about laser hair removal? How do you feel about women with beards getting their chin hair removed?
Mark: And I don’t think botox or plastic surgery is a cure to the real problem at hand: a lack of self acceptance. I don’t know how invasive laser hair removal is. But I think going under the knife just really bothers me.
LK also wants me to have a mole by my eyebrow removed. The only reason I’d ever remove it is if it were cancerous.
I’d say hair removal is a lot different. Because if you are a girl with hair on her face, it’s not normal. Wrinkles are normal. Boom. There’s the difference.
If the mole on my face were the shape of a big penis then I’d have it removed. Not normal.
See the difference?
Keep the questions coming haha
Katherine: That’s contradictory Karc! Embrace the penis shaped mole! Walk around Whole Foods and be proud!
Mark: A penis is offensive. So there’s the difference.
Oh wait, you mean people stricken with cancer offend you Krack?
There is a very fine line to everything. We live in a very weird world.
Me: What about men who wax their hairy backs? I think a hair back is more offensive than a waxed one
Mark: I used to before, I felt ridiculous. I shave it now though. Because it’s uncomfortable, I like to feel groomed.
Me: Oh you like to feel groomed…Hmmmm
Mark: Yes I do. (?)
Me: It has nothing to do with appearance?
Mark: No. Even when my sideburns get bushy it gets annoying. It doesn’t feel clean cut.
Me: Do you trim your nose hairs?
Mark: I usually yank them out and then sneeze real loud. I trim all my hair. It’s free and painless. Same reason I wipe my butt after pooping. I feel better being clean and groomed.
Katherine: I agree with both of you on this debate! I’d love not wrinkles but I don’t like the pressure I feel to get it.
I agree it doesn’t help the imperfect debate
I like that you don’t hide it but it’s still conflicting.
And yes, I might get botox one day.
Mark: I am confused about imprfect right now. I guess I am missing something. And to clarify, people who botox don’t disgust me. It’s what botox REPRESENTS. BE clear on that.
And what it represents, is definitely contradictory of what a blog called imperfect implies.
Katherine: And Karc is priming you for cyber bullies after the blog takes off.
Mark: That’s my whole point. Botox away you guys. I’ll always love and support you both.
Mark: Don’t be mad at me guys.
Katherine: I’m not mad. Jean might be mad.
Mark: She better not be mad. She needs to find positive in my imperfections! Being blunt is my imperfection that I struggle with everyday but there is a positive to it as well. The struggle is how to control the negative of bluntness.
Krack, what’s your imperfection?
…and so the conversation went, with the next great blog post idea discussing what we think our own personal imperfections. But for now, I would like to continue the discussion of the fine line of beauty…how far is too far? Is there a line? I personally liked the way botox smoothed out my forehead lines and lifted my brows…I didn’t just like it, I loved it and will go back for more when it’s needed. I have considered fillers but worry about that plastic look that comes with adding too much. There is definitely a line, however as I age I find that I am willing to push the boundaries a bit to feel younger looking and more attractive.
What’s the line for you when it comes to beauty in general? Is all natural the way to go? Just fine with covering the grey? Facials? Chemical Peels? Injections? Surgery? I believe there is no right answer. Would love to hear your personal point of view.
Here’s a great article, a debate between two top dermatologists in Marie Claire Magazine.
Please comment!!! I would love to have a great (and respectful) discussion going.
